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how to perfect your Instagram pose

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Not everyone is as lucky as Kim Kardashian – only she can employ a supporting cast of North and Saint West for her 2017 Instagram return (you did leave enigmatically and abruptly last year, didn’t you? C’mon). But an update of a pose is as good as a January makeover, and all without any need to consume green juice or ube. Ditch the teacup, the peace sign and the fish gape – here are the three Insta-poses to practically guarantee 4m likes with your next selfie.

The hair touch (the new peace sign)

In the world of social media hair, a proper mane wins the #beckywiththegoodhair contest every time. And how to add an alpha humblebrag? Give that mane a bit of a tease in your selfie – Kylie Jenner and the Hadids excel at this. Gigi calls it a “glam check” – ironic considering it is combined with a full face of makeup. Kardashian has already slayed this category – or at least her people have. In her second Instagram post this year, she is pictured with her youngest, Saint, who is dressed in Vetements-approved velour, running a flawlessly chubby hand through his mother’s hair. That’s Madonna and child, 2017 style, right there.

The chin prop (the new fish gape)

Everyone knows that social media is no place for your real face. Hence the popularity of the fish gape, itself an update on duck face, all in the pursuit of the perfect I’m-not-pouting-honest caught-unawares expression. For 2017, however, lips are out. It’s all about bone structure. Enter, the chin prop. It looks pretty caj, but handily hides any under-chin flaws in the process. Taylor Swift is big on this, so is Rihanna, Lily Aldridge and Ashley Graham. We can’t imagine any of them have IRL problems with neck wattle, but still. A bit of a prop from a spare manicured hand can’t be beat.

The thigh grab (the new teacup)

The party selfie is where celeb-stagram and the red carpet meet. The teacup pose – hand on the hip, an awards-ceremony classic – is more than 10 years old, ie positively jurassic in social media terms. If the raptor (a sort of graceful arms-out pose designed to make you look waifish) had a moment, the #strongnotskinny era we inhabit means something a bit more athletic is in order. The thigh grab – a bit Strictly Come Dancing, a lot “I’ve walked the Victoria Secret runway” – is now the only acceptable way to do a group selfie. See Bella Hadid, Kendall Jenner and friends on Hailey Baldwin’s Instagram. Or Joan Smalls. Of course, if you’re Joan Smalls, you don’t need other people – you and your thigh is quite enough.

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